Written
and presented by Dion McInnis on behalf of the Keener Family at Notre
Dame Catholic Church in Houston, Texas on July 24, 1999. © Dion McInnis
Hollywood
is clueless. It has no idea what is poised to hit it. I mean, how many
hundreds of us here today are fully capable of writing a television
script for the hit show "Touched by an Angel"? Of course, we're talking
about our experiences with "our Nell," a woman who touched us, shared
us, and shared with us, but most of all....loved us.
At
4:20 in the afternoon on Monday, July 19, she completed her battle against
cancer. She waged it for what seemed like an eternity when we understood
her pain, but it appeared to be only days when we witnessed her spirit.
She never was one to hide her spirit, her faith, her love for God and
his children, her joy or her life's emotions. Her generosity is what
brings us here today.
Nell's
generosity of spirit and self was woven into each role she played. No
matter her work, no matter her task, she was generous with herself.
How can a life of 50 years, that took on so many facets over time, be
portrayed in mere minutes? Impossible. Perhaps it can be honored in
that time.
Nell
was much to many. She was teacher. She taught formally and informally.
She taught facts and feelings. She was sister. And daughter. She relished
the annual family gatherings that her mom arranged in Corpus. Can you
imagine our Nell as she grew up from a kiddo to a child of the '60s
to a woman of spirit? She was of spirit and spirituality; only three
weeks ago she and our family went to see the animated Tarzan. She took
it in with such zest and enthusiasm. She so loved the music that she
bought the score; she was so alive. She was:
Mother:
Nell was the lone woman in a house of men, two sons and a husband. She
probably still had the majority vote, eh Rick? Sure, she'd complain
to her friends, as friends do, about how guys can't hit the toilet,
or they won't go to chick flicks, or they don't think it is time to
pick up things until the floor is completely covered. BUT, she treasured
them all. Their sons, Brien and Ben were an outlet for all that is Nell:
tenderness and discipline, love and frustration, anger and forgiveness,
the full range of emotions, all presented with honesty, and all delivered
with the unmistakable message of "I love you." When her sons had exciting
news or accomplishments, she shared them and broadcast them to the world.
When her sons suffered the travails of kids growing up, she would assist
with the burden when she could and seek input from others on how to
better help, but without giving up confidences. "Our Nell" never wanted
only the best of life or only the easy in life; she treasured the richness
of life's experiences, and she saw mothering as one of the richest.
She
was Wife: For 30 years, she was wife to Rick. Rick, she referred
to you as her rock countless times. You were obviously witness to so
much more than the rest of us: be it her smile that shone like the light
on the waves she loved, or that stubbornness that we prefer to refer
to as "conviction." Rick, she cherished you. She told all of us. And
she wrote, "I really do look forward to my end when it's time - I know
that my reward will be so great. When I leave this plane I will be leaving
knowing that my fellas will be fine - they've had the best of me. I've
planted seeds that I've had the opportunity to see bloom & others will
be watered by other special people. They will all be fine knowing that
they had so much of my love which is the best gift to leave them with."
She
was Disciple: Our Nell didn't always realize or appreciate her
role as disciple, but over the years she began to accept the fact that
she was a disciple in the truest sense of the word. She carried a variety
of spiritual messages, from the poignant to the sublime. She once e-mailed
"now some of the people at the cancer center are calling me "sunshine"
- how cool for me - I can leave a mark in the midst of the weeds myself."
She was referring, of course, Jesus' parable of the tainted crops...the
weeds growing with the wheat. She also accepted a challenge...or was
it a plea?...to write to a class of confirmation students that Barb
and I had this past year. "A reading from Nell to the Albuquerquians"
as it were. She accepted, and the students are better for it. In fact,
I read two of her letters to conclude the Confirmation Mass. I hope
it is okay to say that her letters were far more fitting than the Bishop's
homily that day! As a disciple she believed what she learned, and believed
what she said. For example, "Our words are wise because they are from
God, telling of God's wise plan to bring us to the glories of heaven."
...or.... "Remember Jesus in his walk of life on this earth. He accepted
people from every walk of life and yet He faced the same challenges
that we do today. As you go through your journey in life, look for Him
in yourself and others." You can almost hear Nell quoting those things:
the first is from 1 Corinthians, the second from her letters to the
students.
She
was Groundbreaker: There was a lot going on in the mind, heart
and soul of "our Nell." And over the last few years, there was a lot
going on in her body, too. She agreed to share all that in a groundbreaking
move of trust and love. She agreed to participate in a project of mine
whose purpose it is to capture in images and words the various insights
into the worlds and realities of women, in hopes of creating understanding.
Two years ago I came to Nell, asking her to consider sharing with the
world a glimpse of what she shared with her friends. Her participation
immediately broke the ground for the project and set the bar for other
women. Since her images and writings hit the web I have heard from numerous
people who "already feel affected" by her openness, honesty, courage
and spirit. People unknown to me have responded saying they are using
her story to open their own stories, or to inspire friends of theirs
who need to hear of her. "Our Nell" continues to do more that break
ground, she opens doors to souls.
She
was Poet: In 1986 she wrote:
This mom's life is full of boys
Their books, their jeans and all their toys
Skate boards, bicycles, play cars and things
Like collections of ropes and rocks and strings.
They eat, they play, they squabble and fight
Their days are full and at the close of night
They lay their heads down and are so quiet
They probably dream of what the new day will be like.
I love their days, I love their life
I thank the Lord with all my might
That I've been blessed with two
Busy,
busy, busy boys.
Then, as always, she tied her life to the wonders of the day, to the
beauty of the gifts God gave her, and to love for all of it.
She was Journaler: Nell kept journals. Not because it was the
hip new trend of the '90s, but because she felt the urge and the need
to let ideas flow. A frequent topic was the healing power of her beloved
ocean, how the waves, birds and sunshine kept her close to God. In preserving
her thoughts she helped herself, and in what she has chosen to share
she has helped hundreds for years to come. Recent e-mails from others
tell me that her honesty, her view of the world and her sincerity are
touching people in numerous ways.
She was Friend: Samuel Johnson wrote: "Friendship, peculiar boon
of Heaven/The noble minds' delight and pride/To men and angels only
given/To all the lower world denied." Literary license of the day considered,
he surely meant "to people and angels only given." Nell would want us
to be clear on that! When we look around this church, and at last night's
rosary, and recall all the others who couldn't be here, we see friends:
Friend-mom, friend-husband, friend-sister, friend-son, friend-colleague,
friend-neighbor, friend-friend. Cicero said that a friend is a second
self. He also said that to accept counsel as well as give it is true
friendship. Did Cicero know "our Nell"? He must have, because we all
have stories of her giving us non-judgmental counsel born of prayerful
discernment to do some good for a friend, and we all have experienced
her asking for advice and input. She referred to many as "sister-friend."
Maybe we all felt so connected to her, and she to us, because in her
was us: in one way or another she let us find a second self in her.
She
was Angel: Nell always had her angels with her, and I'll bet
she was great company for them. There was probably a waiting list of
angel-names for those who were ready to perform their duties on her
shoulders. And who could blame them? Which one of us didn't always enjoy
her spirit and spirituality, her vulnerabilities and protectiveness?
I can see her animated expression now when one of those angels whispered
something in her ear: "Wow, isn't that great," she would probably say.
Emerson stated that "He who loves goodness harbors angels, reveres reverence
and lives with God." Our Nell loved goodness. Our Nell, who so firmly
believed in her angels was no doubt accompanied by legions of them as
they welcomed this woman, mother, wife, sister, daughter, disciple,
teacher, groundbreaker, poet, journaler, friend...and fellow angel,
to finally live with God, and not merely live in His honor. For that,
we are all exceedingly happy, even in our feelings of great loss.
Our dear Nell...we love you. Unfortunately, we already miss you as deeply
as we love you. We look forward to your friendship as a heavenly angel
with great anticipation, thanks to what you were to us as an earthly
angel for so long. But, you're home, and for that we're happy. Good
bye, dear lady.