Nell was the first person
to open her heart and soul to the project that eventually became titled
Woman: Imprints, Legacies & Tales. She was a key inspiration
for the need to do something like this, and she was the groundbreaker
in sharing her story. But then, that is SO Nell.
Our family has known her
family for about a dozen years, give or take. Closeness in the relationship
developed through interactions in church. She made quite a mark in her
church work in Houston, but she commented once that "I always thought
that my work in the church would be my legacy, but perhaps it is your
project." Her legacy, tales and imprint are in the hearts of the thousands
of people that she has touched with her open, genuine, faith-filled
love to family, friends, churchgoers, youth, and new friends met during
her battle against leukemia.
Her life and world are balancing
acts:
Victim of cancer or victor
of life over death? That's easy. She is confident that when the time
comes she will be in good stead with her God and will therefore have
life after death. But while she battles the disease, she chooses to
live for the day and the moment, and indeed life is victor over death.
Patient or doctor? That's
a bit more complicated. Nell certainly admits her role as patient,
but doctors being for sick folk is no more shameful than church being
for sinners. That's just the way it is, and as it should be. She also
continues her role as "doctor" to others, though I don't think she
fully recognizes her role in healing the hearts, minds and spirits
of those who come in contact with her. She doctors as a mom, as an
avid Catholic, as a friend and as a cancer battler. And she looks
nowhere for blame or anger in her health war: the doctor heals herself
with faith, prayer, and maintenance of friendships.
Mother or mothered? Trickier
this one. Over time this feisty, joyful, spirited woman has grown
to accept the care and nurturing of those who love her, and there
are many. But throughout she has "mothered" as best she could, not
in a doting sense, but in a genuine care giving sense. Her service
has been to others from the position of equality, not subservience.
Nell battles her war daily.
Yet she inspires much and many. My wife and I asked her to write letters
to the students in the Confirmation class we were teaching this past
year. "Letters from Nell to the Albuquerquians," as it were. She did
a wonderful job with the simple, passionate messages that reflect a
time and faith of centuries ago from the early believers. Two of her
letters concluded the Confirmation Mass.
But Nell is not "merely"
a battler and believer, a mother and a friend, a sister and a daughter,
an apostle and a wifeŠshe is a woman. One cannot separate her life from
the fact that it has been a woman's life. The recent focus has been
on her life as a cancer battler, but that is not HER, it is not her
mark on this world. She recently reassured me (again) about the purpose
of this project. As is her style, she was expressing appreciation for
tackling the project and foundation (it is I who appreciates those who
inspire the cause) when she said, "(this is) an area that needs to be
acknowledged - women really have a lot to offer & it comes so naturally
to us - caregivers, etc." In her fatigue, she left it with "etc." but
we know how much more there is in those three letters. Her message came
in America Online's Instant Message, as many of our ongoing conversations
come. Technology has kept her in touch, and kept her touching the lives
of many, including my wife (a sister-friend as she calls Barb), and
a cadre of family and friends.
In her images are mere touches
of her life: laughter, attention to family, positive attitude (her lapel
pin cups are for "her life which runneth over"), the beach and angels.
She always said the angels keep her safe and faith-filled; I say she
is one.
7/12/1999
Read Nell's Writings
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